Single Black Male

This isn’t a full post as much as it is a request.  As always … depending on the collective wisdom of you … my peoples.

I am in the works of conducting a thought provoking and interesting experiment in music and social behavior.  Well … I think its all those things.

Anyways, as a result I need to fill my ipod with good, emotion provoking, and non sex based (read: Jodeci) R&B music.  Since I don’t listen to R&B (I mean I can barely tell you what R&B is on the radio at this point) … I am looking for suggestions, recommendations, and the “OMG … you gotta get this”.

My collection so far is limited, but includes:

• Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (My favorite R&B album of all time … maybe because she is a rapper)
• Alicia Keys - The Diary of Alicia Keyes
• Alicia Keys - Unplugged
• Beyonce - Dangerously in Love
• Mya - Moodring
• R Kelly - The R in R&B
• T-Pain - (IDK the name)
• Brooke Valentine - (IDK the name)

I think thats all the major ones.  I know what my first recommedation is going to be by my favorite person making a “Come Back”, so I got one.

Also, anyone with access to the screwed and chopped “Sux Action” series or the Swishahouse “Srraight to the Room” series of slowed & throwed R&B … hit me up … we need to arrange a transfer.

What should I get?  Who’s Hot?  Whats classic?  What should I delete and never listen to again?

Ya boy needs help …

- SBM

Roaming around youtube I found this clip.  After I died laughing … I actually started to think for a minute.

Was this relationship doom to failure?

Was his desire for a tall woman to beat him with a whip justification for cheating?

Had he brought his fantasy to his wife/girlfriend … would she have understood?

If he didn’t sleep with her … was it cheating?

When someone is into something … but afraid to tell their mate … what do you do?  Does it say something if the person you love doesn’t love you back enough to do that for you … or should you compromise?

And to imagine … all that from a clip from Cheaters …

After 20 years of research … we are finally approaching a effective male contraceptive (condom doesn’t count).

Personally … I am all for it.  I welcome it with open arms and damned if I wouldn’t sign up for the trial if I could.

A little background:

After reading about it here and here, I have found out the basics.  Apparently there are a couple of options.  There is a gel you can use, a pill you can take, an injection, and an implant.  The side effects seem to be pretty minimal, and they are having great success.  The implant is supposed to be the first to market … and it all looks good.

I was talking to someone about this … a woman … and she told me “Men are too lazy to take control of their own birth control.  I don’t like taking a pill everyday … and I know ya’ll [lazy ass n***s] ain’t gonna do it!”.  Uh … who has been the one carrying condoms in their back pockets for the last 100 years?  The duty of finding and putting on a condom has generally remained the burden of the man trying to have sex … so whats so different about a little implant a shot every once in awhile.

I have publicly stated that my #2 fear in life (might be #3 … something) is getting the wrong person pregnant at the wrong time.  So … if there is something I can do to help prevent that (the potential increase in condom less sex is just an added benefit) … again … I am all for it.

Now, this could be a touchy subject for some.  Contraception (besides condoms) has only been available for women for … well … ever since it was available period.  Besides a thin sheet of latex, we as men haven’t had anything to protect us besides prayer and the classic “pull out”.  I already hear the one guy saying “I ain’t taking no pill or nothing!  F*ck that!” or “What you mean I’m not gonna make sperm!  F*ck that!”. Or, are you gonna get the teenage son asking dad “can you get me the pill?”.  How does dad respond (”way to go son” comes to mind)?

So … is contraception a female’s responsibility? Is the condom the only thing a man has to worry about? Is this doomed to failure?  Is this possibly one of the greatest inventions of my lifetime?

Family … what do you say?

Its Friday again … so time to release so stress at the end of the week.

• I haven’t admitted it … but I love white women.  My last girlfriend was caucasian and while I do date black women, they have continued to depress me and convince me why I will marry a white woman.  Last black woman I dated, asked her to make me a sandwhich … and she laughed.  My ex was making me them after 2 weeks.  Would have made a whole post on it … but thats doing too much.
• I barely go to the club anymore.  I feel like I’m way too young to have outgrown the club, but damn if it just doesn’t do it for me.  I used to love crowded clubs (I’m a big guy so I just moved people) … but now I can’t stand people touching me.  Its hot, I want to sit down, and damn if girls at the club don’t even do it for me.  Besides … women aint touching their toes anymore … whats the point.
• I was joking about the white woman thing.  I love my Nubian Queens (unless your an angry bitter b*tch … can’t stand ya’ll).
• I miss my old car.  I had an Acura TL, sold her for something “practical”, then got so bored I bought a motorcycle.  Now I miss her … soooooooo much!
• I really love breasts.  I just don’t understand why so many guys are ass men.  I will admit that a great ass can make you double take quicker then nice breasts … but when it matters (sex) … the breasts offer hours of fun.  You can push em up … down … around … squish them together … pull them apart … the options are endless.  An ass … you can smack it … what else?
• “My Dougie … My Dougie … My Dougie … she says she likes my Dougie (I’m fresh) … My Dougie (I’m Fresh) … I’m Flyer than a motherf*cker!”
• My “first” didn’t believe I was a virgin.  She refused to believe that I had never had sex with anyone else.  You would think hearing something like that could make you lazy … happy … complacement.  But not me … felt like I had a bar to meet now.  Just so she never saw a “degradation” in quality, I analyzed everything I did, identified the good things, and dropped the bad.  That is the reason I now waaaaaayyyyyyy overthink sex.  I guess the satisfaction of others at the cost of myself … eh.

Thats it for me.  I feel a lot better.

Now … good people of singleblackmale.net … family … whats on your mentally checked out, is it 5 o’clock yet, I don’t want to be here, the weekend started at 9am, ITS FRRRIDDDDAAAYYY mind.

RANT!!!

-SBM

Very Smart Brotha’s touched on interracial dating recently, and damned if they didn’t spell it out in very simple terms why many of us have dated outside the race.

Watching this clip brought me back to college really quick.  I went to a PWI (predominantly white institute) … so interracial dating and “hooking up” was very popular.  I was in the car with my ex and we’re driving past some bars.

“Thats a damn shame” she utters
“Yeah … its a rack of people out”
“No … not that.  I’m talking about them” as she points her fingers to 2 black guys talking to 3 white girls
“What’s wrong with that” I ask
“They’re trying to talk to white girls. F*cking Punks”

Now … I can’t help but agree with VSB, we are men first.  Outside of a club, trying to go home with something, race just isn’t a major driving force.  Don’t get mad at him … its his choice.  If he preaches of the greatness of white women … different story … but let him get some head tonight.

Thanks to Hasani for the link.

Why is there so much anger to interracial dating from Black Women?  Why is it wrong to honestly like someone outside the race?  Are all black women really angry, or is that an unfair stereotype?